James Joyce, Tyroid

[DonkeyHoagie]

James Joyce is one of Ireland's great writers. (And that's saying something considering the country's gift of written gab.)

Thinking of Tyrone's deep and thick Irish roots, I often wonder how the author of such great works as the Dubliners and Ulysses would have approached his stories had he been from Tyrone, Pennsylvania.

I think his majestic short story, "The Dead," might have ended like this:

Yes, the Daily Herald was right: the hoagie was general all over Tyrone. It was eaten on every part of the City Park Hotel, on the tree-filled hills, eaten softly upon Reservoir Park benches and, farther westward, by the dark mutinous Little Juniata waves. Hoagies were eaten, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where Michael Furey lay buried. His soul swooned slowly as the onions fell faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.

[Conan_the_Hoagarian]

You've done a masterful job reworking this classic!
I have only one criticism.
The grammar and diction don't reflect the simple, melodic elegance of conversational Tyroidian english.

For example, I would've started this passage with:

Yep, the Heralt wuz right, so it was.

Generous use of words like youns, worsh, and verbal punctuations like "so I did" and "nnat" would give your retelling a more realistic feel.

For example:

Did youns eat your hoagies, nnat?
I had mine earlier, so I did.

Tighten it up and this baby will be rock solid. :thumb:

[BeachBiker]

"We could talk about Joyce.
She's my favorite writer."

- Rodney Dangerfield as Thornton Melon from Back To School.

[NotFromTyrone]

More James Joyce, this from Ulysses (epsiode 6 - Hades):

"A corpse is meat gone bad. Well and what's cheese? Corpse of milk."

Responded Tyrone Joyce AKA TJoy: "Quit yer talkin' 'bout food. Dah yinz wanna go to [fill in the blank with your favorite hoagie shop] ta get a sammich uv corpse, lettuce, an' onyuns?"

[DonkeyHoagie]

More James Joyce, this from Ulysses (epsiode 6 - Hades):

"A corpse is meat gone bad. Well and what's cheese? Corpse of milk."

Responded Tyrone Joyce AKA TJoy: "Quit yer talkin' 'bout food. Dah yinz wanna go to [fill in the blank with your favorite hoagie shop] ta get a sammich uv corpse, lettuce, an' onyuns?"

That there was beautiful, n that.

[Meaux]

...hey, y'uns goin' up Altoona? Stop over Pap's and git that hamburg out of the deep freeze.

...we are like "Fargo" without the PR rep...

[watcher]

No sign of DonkeyHoagie lately...I wonder where he is and how he's doing? I miss seeing his posts...

[anne onimous1]

...hey, y'uns goin' up Altoona? Stop over Pap's and git that hamburg out of the deep freeze.

...we are like "Fargo" without the PR rep...

Why exactly do you go "up" to Altoona?