Joke Of The Moment...

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My2Cents
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If Mike has 13 apples, and gives six to Jane, how many does he have left?: 13
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Joke Of The Moment...

Post by My2Cents »

Don't know if this is a good idea or not .:rolleyes: It could be enjoyable, as long as we are
good little boys and girls and control ourselves. I know.... I know....it will be difficult....
Come on, we can do it.... let's (cleanly) lol. :devil:
OK, here's a Johnny Carson/Ed McMann one, heard it last week.
Whenever you hear....Rah, Rah, Rah, Sis Boom Bah.... do you know what Sis Boom Bah means ??
That's the sound you hear before your sheep explodes.
watcher
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by watcher »

Ohhhh, boy!

Okay, in the same light, here's one that I think is original, at least the punch line is...possibly,although, I can't remember.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"Because he was tired of waiting for the traffic light?"

"or...he was tired of waiting period..."

Have a good day! :rolleyes:
My2Cents
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If Mike has 13 apples, and gives six to Jane, how many does he have left?: 13
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by My2Cents »

:huh:.... Oh well, guess this wasn't a good idea after all.
Something to say
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by Something to say »

I am a dumb blonde. I must admit.,, I don't get either joke...lol. Nor do I know many jokes that are site-appropriate. However I will contribute my favorite dumb-blonde joke........ ( in advance.....please forgive me...haha )

The blonde's apartment was on fire.....

Hysterical, she called 911......"Mr Fireman please help me...my apartment is on fire"

"Ok ma'am....please calm down and tell me how to get there"

"Oh ...don't be so stupid... I don't have time for this...my apartment is on fire!"

"Ma'am...I'm not trying to be stupid... I need you tell me how to get there!"

"OMG,,,figures I'd get the dumb fireman.....DUH.....IN THE BIG RED TRUCK!!!"
watcher
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by watcher »

Oh that was definitely the best of the three!!! Sorry, my2cents....

Okay, here's one that I thought was kind of funny along the same lines. When I took my younger brother to get his driver's license, there was a lady who was having trouble with understanding his directions for the paperwork. She kept asking him to repeat his instructions, and didn't have what she needed.

Finally, when she walked off, the man said,

"Boy, if I blew in her ear, she'd thank me for the refill!"

Okay, I have to admit, I can relate with blondes... :w
My2Cents
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If Mike has 13 apples, and gives six to Jane, how many does he have left?: 13
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by My2Cents »

:rolleyes:
Something to say
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by Something to say »

How do you catch a unique bird?

Ready??

Ok...here goes....

U 'neak up on it.

TAH DAH!

***********************************

Did ya hear about the cat that swallowed a ball of yarn?

She had mittens!

***********************************
And my favorite .........

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender pours him a drink and asks, "Do you realize you've got a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate replies, "Yarrr!!! It's drivin' me nuts!" :jester: :rofl:

Now THAT'S funny......I don't care who ya are!
***************************************
Something to say
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by Something to say »

wow........and this makes sense.......Too Funny.

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said: "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation." "A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got married and got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother. And my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law." "Much later the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son. But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son. That made me the grand-father of my half-brother." "This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the Grandmother. This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife,I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew & I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!"
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BeachBiker
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If Mike has 13 apples, and gives six to Jane, how many does he have left?: 13
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by BeachBiker »

A man goes to the unemployment office in Altoona and sees a card advertising for a Hooters Corporation Staff Gynecologist's Assistant.

Interested, he goes to learn more - "Can you give me some more details?" he asks the clerk.


The clerk pulls up the file and says:


"The job entails getting the Hooters ladies ready for the gynecologist.
You have to help them get undressed, get comfortable, many other 'personal' tasks, and position them for the doctor's examination.
There's an annual salary of $75,000, plus full corporate benefits.
If you're going to apply, you have to go to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. That's about 620 miles from here."



"Oh, is that where the job is?" asks the man.


"No sir - THAT'S WHERE THE END OF THE LINE OF OTHER MEN APPLYING IS RIGHT NOW!"
My2Cents
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If Mike has 13 apples, and gives six to Jane, how many does he have left?: 13
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by My2Cents »

A 96 year old man was in the hospital recuperating from hip surgery. Every evening his son would visit him after he finished work and stay long enough, keeping him company, until his dad fell asleep. Every evening, at the same time, the nurse would come around to give his father his medication.... a sleeping pill and a Viagra. At first the son noticed it and said nothing. A few days later, he was becoming very concerned and said to the nurse.... I can understand the sleeping pill, but, why are you giving my 96 year old father Viagra at his age ?? The nurse replied.... sir, the sleeping pill puts him to sleep and the Viagra keeps him from rolling out of bed.
Something to say
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by Something to say »

:rofl:
SoccerMom
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If Mike has 13 apples, and gives six to Jane, how many does he have left?: 13
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by SoccerMom »

A Little Christian Humor

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports.

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than h*ll...

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!'

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate. 'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?'

God just shrugged and said,
JESUS SAVES....
My2Cents
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If Mike has 13 apples, and gives six to Jane, how many does he have left?: 13
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by My2Cents »

:thumb: :lol:
My2Cents
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If Mike has 13 apples, and gives six to Jane, how many does he have left?: 13
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by My2Cents »

A middle aged couple fell in love and got married. She was approximately 65 years old and, by some miracle, she became pregnant and had a sweet little baby. She and her husband were so happy to become parents and all their friends were very happy for them also. After the baby was born, their friends couldn't wait to see the baby. They all decided to have a baby shower for her so they could all come and see the baby.... she suggested, and it was agreed, that they have the party at her house. When the party day came around, all their friends started to file into the house with their gifts and covered dishes. Everyone was in fine spirits and having a good time. After about a half hour one of their friends said.... OK, we've been here long enough, let's see the baby. The lady said, no, not yet.... we have to wait until he cries. So, everybody continued to party on and have a good time. An hour, then two hours passed and some were getting restless, they wanted to see the baby and she kept telling them no, wait until he cries. Finally, after about 3 hours, one of their friends said look, I have to go home, I came here to see your baby.... why do I have to wait until he cries ?? She looked at her friend and said.... because I forgot where I put him.
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RedhairNFreckles
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If Mike has 13 apples, and gives six to Jane, how many does he have left?: 13
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Re: Joke Of The Moment...

Post by RedhairNFreckles »

Yep, I know this is in bad taste...... :stick:

Walmart is having a sale on Michael Jackson logo boys pants...they're half off. :wall:
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