The Daily Onion: Northern Blair's Finest News Source

[DonkeyHoagie]

PennDOT: Amish Labor, God's Grace Needed for I-99 Project
Ye Ole Route 220 Shall be Replaced, PennDOT voweth

PennDOT says I-99 is on the fast track thanks to some Pennsylvania residents noted for being on the slow track.
PennDOT engineers are working with Amish craftsmen to complete the rest of I-99. They will use a technique often called, "Highway Raising," by the English.
In this procedure, herds (or is it gaggles?) of Amish trod land into roadways by dragging logs with their horse-drawn buggies. Meanwhile, the Amish women make sandwiches. Modern workers are encumberd by frequent Sheetz runs.
PennDOT expects to complete the road project in eight years.
Using modern construction equipment, Jerry Fontaine, a PennDOT spokesperson, said that the road wouldn't be finished until AD 2050.
"It just makes sense to utilize fine Amish craftmanship when you have access to it and when you're looking at those extended timelines," Fontaine said. " 'Sides most humans will be replaced by flying robots by then anyhow."
Fontaine expected the cost to be in the 700-800 horseshoe range.

[150thBucktailCo.I]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Something to say]

omg...........LOLOL

[RedhairNFreckles]

NEWS FLASH!!!!

East End just announced Shoo-fly Pie will be availabe for your eating enjoyment (?).....come on by and get ya one....before we RUN OUT.....

[My2Cents]

NEWS FLASH!!!!

East End just announced Shoo-fly Pie will be availabe for your eating enjoyment (?).....come on by and get ya one....before we RUN OUT.....

:huh: East End where... NC or FLA ?? Did you read that in The Daily Onion ??

[RedhairNFreckles]

NEWS FLASH!!!!

East End just announced Shoo-fly Pie will be availabe for your eating enjoyment (?).....come on by and get ya one....before we RUN OUT.....

:huh: East End where... NC or FLA ?? Did you read that in The Daily Onion ??

Why the only place there is an East End......somewhere near Mac's on Columbia Ave last I heard......

[My2Cents]

WOW !!! Good 'ole Shoo-fly pie !! Right now, that sounds better than a Spanish Bar Cake. By the way... I bought a Spanish Bar cake from a grocery store in Altoona a few months ago... nope, it just didn't get it... it didn't taste like the good 'ole A&P's. One of these years I'm going to try the 2nd receipe that someone posted on this board... it sounded like a good one too.

[RedhairNFreckles]

WOW !!! Good 'ole Shoo-fly pie !! Right now, that sounds better than a Spanish Bar Cake. By the way... I bought a Spanish Bar cake from a grocery store in Altoona a few months ago... nope, it just didn't get it... it didn't taste like the good 'ole A&P's. One of these years I'm going to try the 2nd receipe that someone posted on this board... it sounded like a good one too.

Yep, that Spanish Bar Cake was a total bust....I knew I shouldn't have trusted the cook that posted it. :nuts:

[My2Cents]

Hey, RNF... your's had ALL the good stuff in it !! Now that I think about it... wasn't there something about it not being as moist as we remember them ?? Tell ya what, one of these years, I'll try your recipe and add the "oil" to it that someone else mentioned in another recipe. Here I go again... thinking about Spanish Bar cake .
P.S. Your Ice Mountain song has certainly made the Hit Parade !!! .

[RedhairNFreckles]

Hey, RNF... your's had ALL the good stuff in it !! Now that I think about it... wasn't there something about it not being as moist as we remember them ?? Tell ya what, one of these years, I'll try your recipe and add the "oil" to it that someone else mentioned in another recipe. Here I go again... thinking about Spanish Bar cake .
P.S. Your Ice Mountain song has certainly made the Hit Parade !!! .

Your songs were pretty good too.....wanna go to Nashville with me???....... :jester:

[My2Cents]

Hey, RNF... your's had ALL the good stuff in it !! Now that I think about it... wasn't there something about it not being as moist as we remember them ?? Tell ya what, one of these years, I'll try your recipe and add the "oil" to it that someone else mentioned in another recipe. Here I go again... thinking about Spanish Bar cake .
P.S. Your Ice Mountain song has certainly made the Hit Parade !!! .

Your songs were pretty good too.....wanna go to Nashville with me???....... :jester:

I'd never make it, I have one heck of a time with my twang !!!

[DonkeyHoagie]

Blair County Attorneys Issue Competitive Drinking Challenge
Call Philly Lawyers 'Woosies"; Centre County Law Dogs, "Lightweights"

The verdict is in... Blair County lawyers are the state's best drinkers and they are setting out to prove their case.
Representatives from Blair's legal community say they'll build on last year's strong second-place finish to win this year's Pass the Bar Competitive Drinking Challenge.
"We've been practicing. And you know what practice makes? It makes a helluva martini I'll tell you that," Carlson E. Farbware, captain of the Blair AA Attorneys, joked during a recent lunchtime stint at a Hollidaysburg watering hole.
Farbware said the sting of losing to the Regal Beagle Legal Eagles, a team of drinking lawyers from Allegheny County, hardened the resolve of their team to win this year's competition.
"It hardened our resolve and hardened our liquor," Farbware said. "We practicin' you know and we ain't playin' with no Martha Stewart cocktails, no offense to the ladies."
Farbware expressed definite disdain for the Centre County team, a team he referred to divisively as the "Penn State Lightweights." He claims the team used some ex-Blair attorneys as "ringers." Farbware said he had a special message to the Centre County team:
"You know my name? You know my name?" Farbware said inexplicably.
The challenge will be held New Year's Eve at an undisclosed motel parking lot.

[150thBucktailCo.I]

I'll bet that Assistant DA who was just busted for DUI could be a competitive star for Blair county. 3 times the legal limit!

http://www.altoonamirror.com/page/conte ... ml?nav=742

On a side note, another positive is that the county won't have to pay her salary and benefits for awhile, nor will she have to be afraid of potentially being laid off.

[DonkeyHoagie]

Company Seeks Help to Augment Wind Farm’s Energy Production
Beanies... Baby!

That’s using your head.

Not a phrase you hear on a regular basis in Tyrone, but local officials and wind farm proponents are hoping residents do just that to augment the power produced by a proposed wind farm.

Residents will be required to wear “cranial wind-energy catching units,” also called CWECs, to add to power created by nearby wind farms.

http://www.dotpenn.com/

[zapatista]

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