The Daily Onion: Northern Blair's Finest News Source

[DonkeyHoagie]

Welfare Mom Says Stipend is Barely Enough to Afford Alcohol
Welfare mom may be forced to drink 12-ounce cans of beer, smoke smaller joints.

Times are always hard for Gwenda Mowry, a mother of six or eight, who lives in Tyrone. Now, she said times are even harder.

Mowry said that the inability for welfare funds to keep up with the rapid inflation in drugs and alcohol has left her desperate and her family in danger.

“I guess these guys in Harrisburger and Washington think that meth grows on trees, it don’t,” she said. “It grows in an abandoned garage that my cousin Larry found. It ain’t cheap is my point.”

Mowry said her drug and alcohol budget is slowly creeping into her food budget.
“I find myself saying, do I pay for the bad of Doritos for my children, or do I buy a six pack.” Mowry said. “Like that is even a choice. Reporter man, can you snag me a brew in the fridge?”

Read more at DotPenn

[150thBucktailCo.I]

Hillarious. :thumb:

But what's sad and disgusting is how close to reality this is for many "families".

[DonkeyHoagie]

Sub-Prime Fallout Roils State College McMansion Market
Dozens of State College residents join ranks of the mansion-less

It was the American dream.

And it ended in a nightmare.

Brent Keens and his wife, Barbara, had just married and decided to move from their cramped 2,600 square -foot townhouse to a modest 14,500 square-foot, eight-and-a-half-bathroom baroque-style castle.

With Barbara home-schooling parakeets, the smaller home just wasn’t working out. Besides, Brent was making more money. His stipend as a Philosophy grad student was upped an extra $100 a month.

So, the Keens secured a $1.1 million loan. Since they declared bankruptcy three times in the last two years, the Keens were considered high-risk borrowers and were “coerced” into an adjustable-rate loan with a payment that was fine for the Keens, as long as interests rates didn’t rise in the next 50 years.

Then, the unthinkable happened: interest rates, which characteristically always go down, went up. Within months, the Keens and their thriving parakeet-schooling business were kicked to the cul-de-sac.

Read more at DotPenn.

[DonkeyHoagie]

Decision ‘08: Pennsylvanians Rally for Next Antichrist

It’s that time again. Pennsylvania Republicans and Democrats are preparing to give their nod to the demonic lord who will represent Satan as the nation’s chief executive and who will usher in the end times.

The faithful from both parties said the decision isn’t easy–the field for potential Antichrists has never been so rich or varied.

Read more at DotPenn

[watcher]

I think some of these posts are funny, but sometimes there's a fine line between humor and sarcasm, or mockery. In this case, I think you're mocking something that doesn't really seem funny to me no matter from which side you approach it. If you're conservative, you may think making fun of the canidates funny, but I don't see that as funny. If you're liberal, you may think it's funny that people call you an anti-Christ, but I don't think that's particularly funny either. I'm sorry, I like to laugh, but I'm just not quite seeing this as something humorous. Hillary Clinton may become the next President, and then we will need to be supportive of her or any of the others no matter how we may feel. I think respect of our future President is important...I'm sorry if I'm being a wet blanket...I suppose I could ignore it, and bury my head in the sand, but I'm not sure that's good either.

[banksy]

Since the Daily Onion seems to use this as free advertisement (and he runs Google ads as well) I was wondering if I could put links to my eBay auctions on the boards as well?

[Rick]

I have politely requested of DH to allow visitors to directly visit the dotpenn.com website without reposting links and articles here. Please consider this matter addressed.

Thank you, Rick

[Bill Latchford]

I think some of these posts are funny, but sometimes there's a fine line between humor and sarcasm, or mockery. In this case, I think you're mocking something that doesn't really seem funny to me no matter from which side you approach it. If you're conservative, you may think making fun of the canidates funny, but I don't see that as funny. If you're liberal, you may think it's funny that people call you an anti-Christ, but I don't think that's particularly funny either. I'm sorry, I like to laugh, but I'm just not quite seeing this as something humorous. Hillary Clinton may become the next President, and then we will need to be supportive of her or any of the others no matter how we may feel. I think respect of our future President is important...I'm sorry if I'm being a wet blanket...I suppose I could ignore it, and bury my head in the sand, but I'm not sure that's good either.

I don't have comment on the humor part of things, But I have to totally agree with being supportive of the next president. It is sad that when a president is elected whether Dem or Rep the other side just tries like crazy for that president's whole term to tear he or she down. Wouldn't it be something if they just held off until election time to tear each other down, and then during a sitting president's term they all just work together to make this Country strong. I know wishful thinking on my part.

[Blain]

Since the Daily Onion seems to use this as free advertisement (and he runs Google ads as well) I was wondering if I could put links to my eBay auctions on the boards as well?

Banks, I believe you are a wet-blanket, buzz-kill, and humorless drone all wrapped up into one.

[banksy]

Since the Daily Onion seems to use this as free advertisement (and he runs Google ads as well) I was wondering if I could put links to my eBay auctions on the boards as well?

Banks, I believe you are a wet-blanket, buzz-kill, and humorless drone all wrapped up into one.

Don;t judge someone based off of internet posts.

[Leep]

I am always curious as to why people who would never vote for the person who has just been elected suddenly feel a need to "Support" them. Certainly they will never be aware that we support them or even if we do not.
I sincerely believe it is disingenuous to think for a minute that any of us matter to any of them once they achieve that high office.
Perhaps there will be a particular genre that they well may feel it is their duty to "Help."
But, I believe, much like the acting community, that if you are not a part of that very small inner circle, you don't really mean anything to them.
Perhaps in years gone by, many years ago, there were good men who sought and won title to that dubious office, that not only went into it with high morals and a dedication to make not only life better, but our country better..
But i would ask you to point out one in our lifetimes.... Perhaps in our parents lifetime....
Lincoln come to mind as does Teddy Roosevelt..Old George gets a pass for obvious reasons, he was the first and really was responsible, in great part, for us being the independent country we are today.
As my dear Mother used to say whenever someone she knew passed away..(Those very few someones that she had little use for)
He/She was a no good son-of -a - beech when they were alive, being dead didn't do anything to elevate them...
That is my personal feelings about politicians, at least successful ones..if they weren't any dang good before they bought//lied their way into office, nothing was going to change them now..
Oh as an aside. I was reminded earlier by something that my Dear Dad said once when a reporter came down to Birmingham on a warm Sunday morning to take a picture of my family.
There on the front porch was my daughter, myself, my Dad and his Father. For some reason someone told him about this and he came down to snap a picture of four generations of Leepers all gathered together.
While talking to my Dad (Rags) he asked respectfully.. "Mr. Leeper, have you lived here in Birmingham all your life."
With a small grin, my Dad said, "Not yet".....


Leep Out:

[watcher]

Point well taken, Leep...I know we've been making fun of politicians for years. It is irrisistible to mock some of them, who can blame them? But I can't help feel that politics has just gone off the charts with not getting along with anyone. If the government can't work together, move aside and find someone who can, and stop moaning about it. Still, Banksy, didn't say anything, anyway...if someone wants to take potshots at me...bring it on...but leave Banksy alone, poor guy...

[Rick]

While very entertaining, this post has begun to spiral off topic. Please feel free to check out the sites mentioned earlier in the thread for updates, but we will refrain from turning them into topics here. The other site also has the ability to welcome comments on each topic, as most blogs do. You may visit there routinely and make voice your opinions.

My locking of the topic is not due to it's content, but because an engine already exists for it's distribution and discussion.